pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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