Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
