Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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