Your tits are I can't wait for
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
