he wants to bone in the snuggie
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
