Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
