p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
