last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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