You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
People in love make me want to vomit
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
