Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
