It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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