Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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