Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
