oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
