Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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