she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
