I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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