Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
