i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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