Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
