I think my vagina is haunted
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
