he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
