Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The uberlube is also flammable
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
