you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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