I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize