I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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