the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
