ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We talked him into tasing himself.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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