Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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