they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
