evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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