This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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