I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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