I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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