Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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