We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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