i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
