Sry I called you an 8
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
