Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
