So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize