I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize