see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize