My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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