im holly from the hills drunk
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
