Rock
Scissors
Fuck
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you told grandpa to call you daddy
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
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