he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
