things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize