She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
