toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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