Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
