I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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