Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
