So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
