what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
