The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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