I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There r osticjed everywhere
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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