do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
