I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
