she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
