Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
