Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
