VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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