im drinking this country out of the recession.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize